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| Kua Chee Overkill
If you know Kua Chee and you don't know me, then you don't really know Kua Chee. Which is sort of like knowing me knowing you... So start knowing Kua Chee and start knowing me which is quite good to know. In fact I would say it's twice as knowing.
But kazakhstan being kazakhstan, where horses can vote and women can't and the only way to get any food is to make them yourself, it's no wonder we have no Kua Chee here.
SO. Bob suggested that we make our own Kua Chee.
The recipe is embarassingly easy. All you need is
2kg watermelons, non seedless!
1 person (preferrably with HDS - Hyper Diarrhea Syndrome *someone who lau sai la*)
1 strong stomach
1 container
1 pair of gloves *optional*
(serves 2-3 people)
First,
1. Eat the watermelons with seeds. If possible eat the skin as well. More fibre to ease the ejecting process. Then go watch a movie or listen to an album for 30-45 minutes. Avoid watching this or listening to this to avoid the cycle reversing itself.
2. When you feel like it's time to go. Proceed to nearest toilet. Bring gloves if you find it necessary.
3. Answer nature's call, do the number two, pang sai, berak, kacken or go take a shit.
Don't let me show you how.
4. Scoop up your work with brought container. Again, gloves are optional.
5. Sometimes there are solid pieces where there are seeds hidden (that's why it's better to find someone with HDS), so to get those out the ingenious me found an idea of using a rolling pin instead.
Let me show you how.
Not an easy task at all. That's why you need a strong stomach. If you observe from the picture, I opted to go with no gloves.
Just for the fun of it, I decided to do this
Yup, chop 'em Kua Chee.
6. Pick up the seeds and roast 'em or dry 'em
...until they look like Kua Chee.
Then put into bowl, plastic bag or a used Kua Chee wrapper you stole from your autie while visiting her last Chinese New Year while she was playing Mahjong (for that authentic Kua Chee experience). Then serve!
Smelly. 
The last picture is totally pointless. I didn't get around eating the *man-made* Kua Chee. It's an acquired taste.
The aftermath...
I woke up with a broken toilet, smelly hands and out of toilet paper.
I'll just stick to Muar Chee for now.
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| A shout out to my fiends
June, I juz read your blog posts. I can only say this, "Padan your muka". I really wanna go there and give you a big big pie now.
Genie, you forgot to thank me. Next time I won't belanja you char kuey tiow anymore. Don't fren you.
McBacon, I think spending that Rp 50 is totally worth it. IF Hiang is blue, koala bears say "I love char kuey tiow" -lah.
Liang, you look like just wake up from bed in your deportation pics!! Can steal one of those nude bra for me ar? As I want to wear one myself... 
Robby, that day my jailmate asked me what's the name of the growth behind my back. Without thinking I splurted out "Peanut Butter Jelly!"...and then I realised it's called Bob. And then I felt hungry. And this post has nothing to do with you.
Dick, having fun with your name? 
AiFen, we have more stupid people than clever people on Earth NOT because clever people tend to emigrate to other planets. It's because more stupid people tend to waste their time blogging and reading other people's blogs and it just seems to you that there are more stupid people because you are reading this blog and I'm blogging. Also stupid people tend to repeat themselves. Remember that you are reading this blog because the blog was 'in front of you'? heheh
Annie, being autistic rocks ya? See, you see with your eyes. You can count d ar?
Twin Being, no I do not think that your new career choice is stupid. AT ALL. Also I do not think that the sky is blue and char kuey tiow is oily. A man has gotta go when a man has to pee.
...
I suddenly realise that nobody reads my blog.
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| My original blog which is not copied from any other blog especially not from Cirnelle
Blogging is such a passing fad. - Famous last words by me.
I used to blog even when Xanga was just a Swahilian cool slang meaning "pull your finger out of the tiger's behind/ass". When every other person including the char kuey tiow uncle started asking me, "Oi, leng chai, you no blog blog meh? Uncle start to blog d ler, u go leave komen la, uncle give you more prawns in ur char kuey tiow next time. Lon't forget ar, go to http://www.my-kuey-tiow-very-oily.com"
I just nodded and closed my blog the minute I arrived home. I even felt a little dirty and took a shower.
But now you just can't run away from this blogging thing. What pushes people to put down their innermost thoughts on the web for everyone to see? Are people so nosy nowadays that they just have to read about other people's lives every morning like those people who don't drink coffee every morning will shiver the whole day and can't stop until they read about other people's life?
Blogs are really invading the internet, I tell you. I was searching for a simple thing like "Hot black gay guys" "Char kuey tiow recipe" and blogs took up 80% of the results. But then again, I found the recipe from a blog.
It's no doubt blogs will cover the web soon. Every Tom, Dick and Hairy Dick wants to talk about their dicks. If you see someone taking pictures, you'll go, "Hey, you blogger ar?", and then photographers around the world will soon go extinct, tabloids will start to pay bloggers to submit photos, and Xangans will be accepted into the UN as an official nationality.
Let's see how long I can keep this up.
Oh yeah, there's this blog which like totally copycat my blog. Until pictures also curi same pose. Some people really no taste. It's at http://www.xanga.com/cirnelle. Name also same.
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